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Another Halloween has come and gone.

The costumes change annually to keep up with whatever the Disney Channel is pumping into our kids' decaying minds, but one thing remains constant year-to-year:

Types of Houses Trick-or-Treaters will encounter

The Shut-In: This particular asshole will hide. Their lights go off for a couple of hours, and when the kids have left, the lights come back on. The unfortunate side-effects of being the 'shut-in' include getting "COCKCHEESE" written on your bay window, and the ever so popular egging.

The creepy old pervert: When asked "Trick or Treat?!" they are eager to see your treat, and then offer to show you their treats as well. Note: watch for their tongue licking their lips.

The Anti-Halloween Pentacostoids: They are rare, but usually one per neighborhood. They appear to be the friendly type and will even smile as they place a treat in your plastic pumpkin. Note: hey kids, this is where those little comic Bibles are coming from. Parents, don't try to return the tracts, because this might result in an ear-fucking diatribe about how you are in violation of...

EPHESIANS 5:11
or
I THESSALONIANS 5:22

The neighborhood cracked-out haunted house: We've all seen them, and sure as hell have been to one. Ironically, it is the neighborhood pariah who turns out to be this over-achiever that cluster fucks every light socket in their house with black lights, strobe lights, and other various motorized gadgets. This overgrown man-child will answer the door with a chainsaw and a hockey mask, scaring the crap out of children to the wonderful hardcore retro 33rpm record of Disney's Haunted Mansion Soundtrack (chilling thrilling sounds of the haunted house).